“Make your life a mission, not an intermission.” ~Arnold H. Glasgow
My eyes fluttered open. I could see the sunshine pouring through my rose-colored curtains. For a few golden seconds, there was quiet, there was peace. Then I remembered, “You have an audition today. Two hours away from where you live!”
I spun around so quickly that I made myself into a human burrito stuck in my blankets. I grabbed my cell phone. Wow—I had woken up, naturally, two hours before I even had to leave for my audition.
I wrestled with my blanket, and when I finally released myself from its all- encompassing grip, I thought, “Ha! First battle of the day won.”
Grabbing my iPod, I picked the perfect song and started my morning stretches.
This audition was my chance to start a new life—a dancing life, one where I was full-time living my dream. It was my chance to be accepted in a Masters program studying dance education.
Here’s the thing though—let’s flash forward a few months.
“You are done. Thank you,” I said to group number 10 out of 20 Broadway hopefuls, coming to audition for a local production.
I released them from the studio, their faces full of worry. I looked down at the list of auditionees, waiting for the next group to arrive, and tapped my pen in a quick, anxiety-ridden way.
This was a part-time gig for me—auditioning young dancers, teaching them proper technique.
I loved being able to work with children and pass dance education along, but having to keep my passion of teaching as a “part-time gig” always felt like rubbing sandpaper on sunburn for me.
I constantly battled this lingering feeling that I wasn’t taking what I felt to be my calling very seriously.
I stood up to walk across the room, and I just couldn’t anymore. With my back against the wall, I slid down, hands covering my face, tears rolling down my cheeks. How did I get there?